It’s so interesting. Why do we deny ourselves an opportunity just to be able to say “NO”? What is the resistance? Is there an unwillingness to see the situation from a different point of view? Are we simply attached to our perceptions and frames of reference? What are we telling ourselves? The three root doubts of every human being tend to be:
I am not good enough.
I am not worthy.
I am a bad person.
Most of my clients fall into the #1 or #2 category. This is human. Everyone has doubts and worries. At some point or another, everyone lies in bed staring at the ceiling and wondering if they can make it. Really. Everyone.
Do you feel like you don’t have what it takes? Do you feel that you don’t deserve it all? What is that costing you? How does it affect your life? How do you want to feel? How would that benefit you? What would be possible for you if you let that belief go? On a scale of 1-10, what is it worth to you to transform this?
Look at your life and ask yourself, “How is Not Good Enough/ Not Worthy affecting my life?” This undercurrent touches everything that doesn’t work in your life. Look at the cost and impact of remaining hostage to your narrow vision. What is the benefit of changing your mindset and seeing with more expansive eyes?
Working with a coach will help you push through barriers and limitations. Instead of wasting your energy concocting complicated excuses, rationalizations, and justifications, create space and transform the negative chatter into positive self talk. Instead of remaining prisoner to confusion and conflict, take those destructive racing thoughts and replace them with positive messages. Negative self talk can be so harsh and unforgiving. If we were to write down the things we tell ourselves throughout the day and then told them to a child, it would be considered abusive. Would you tell a child the things that you tell yourself? Consider what you would tell your best friend. Maybe you would remind her about past successes or changes she is making right now. You would specific, personal, and positive. You would be encouraging and kind. Instead of saying, “No, you can’t,” you would say “Yes, you can… and you will.”
Mind Coach NOLA is the leader in ADHD and Executive Function life coaching in New Orleans and the entire Louisiana area.