Preliminary reading: https://academic.oup.com/scan/article/13/6/648/5032637
We often feel that the rejection of an idea we have or a role we’d like to fulfill is a rejection of us as a person. Another person’s opinion or oversight can make us feel unworthy or unloved. Our creative minds wander to extrapolate from the simple rejection to the worst possible scenario. It is human to sometimes think “I am not good enough” or “I am not worthy” but not healthy to stay in that mindset. The challenge lies in the ability to change the negative mindset to a positive one.
In reference to the article yes! Mindfulness means paying attention to the present moment with kindness and curiosity. It means self compassion and self acceptance. The mind will wander, and you can observe it wander without judgment. By practicing mindfulness and paying attention to your breath, you can bring yourself back to the present reality. Once there, it’s a lot easier to move forward towards a positive mindset which allows you to create and follow through with an action plan. You have the ability to channel the creativity you used to imagine everything that has gone wrong and will go wrong (causing heartache and anxiety), and then using it to invent genius solutions and see fabulous possibilities (causing inspiration and motivation).
Definitely mindfulness practice. That can be in the form of yoga, meditation or simply paying attention to your breath. Breath works like a remote control for focus. The actual optimal breathing rate for focus is 4-6 breaths per minute. This allows you to reactivate your prefrontal cortex for sustained attention. So when you notice your mind racing to nightmarish scenarios, Stop, Take a breath, Observe and Proceed (STOP)
The final P can also be Plan. So what can you do now? What are your long term goals? What do you need to do to get there? How are you going to do that? When? What resources do you need?
What are your core values and how can live in alignment with these? Would you compromise your values just to be accepted? That’s a recipe for unhappiness. How can you stay true to yourself?
You are a beautiful and unique individual. List and celebrate your strengths. Proceed on your own journey.
Mind Coach NOLA is the leader in ADHD and Executive Function life coaching in New Orleans and the entire Louisiana area.