Do you feel like you don’t have what it takes? Do you feel that you don’t deserve it all? What is that costing you? How does it affect your life? How do you want to feel? How would that benefit you? What would be possible for you if you let that belief go? On a scale of 1-10, what is it worth to you to transform this?
I was just discussing this topic with a client this morning! She had the external distractions under control (phone, internet, chatty colleagues) but could not fully immerse herself in her work because of internal distractions (her own mind). So that’s the question: How can you control your thoughts to be most productive?
This article brings up a tricky, but valid point. People with ADHD and Executive Function Disorder (or Executive Dysfunction) struggle with some of the same issues. Both have trouble staying on task. Both have trouble organizing, prioritizing, planning and working memory.
My best friend recently sent this me this graphic. I laughed out loud because the bottom one is exactly what our coffee dates would look like in diagram form. We have known each other since seventh grade and every time we see each other it’s like we’re teens all over again, only this time without big perms, braces, bad skin or shoulder pads.
Given the time of the year it’s easy to become stressed - between the activities, errands, social commitments, travel etc. Let’s figure out how to reduce that feeling so you can go into 2019 ready to conquer all of your goals!
I just ran across a short article titled, “7 Surprising Ways Your Dog Says ‘I’m Stressed” and glanced at my canine companions. They were in the deep sleep of their mid morning nap after their sunrise run and healthy breakfast.
I read a lot. It’s how I unwind and let my brain wander into another world. It’s my favorite way to unplug and relax. In fact, I often declare digital detox weekends (or afternoons) and head off to the woods, secret cabin or back porch with a pile of books and magazines, looking forward to hours in my hammock. I also love libraries and would be broke without them. Amidst this holiday season when the activities are endless, the weather is cooler and the stimulation is abundant there is no better time to take time and give yourself a mental break than by squeezing in some reading.
One of the keynote speakers at the conference I attended recently was Eduardo Briceño, who founded Mindset Works together with Carol Dweck, PhD. One anecdote I found fascinating related to his experience with Cirque du Soleil. As you know, Cirque du Soleil dazzles audiences around the world with flawless performances.
Last week, I attended a morning parent meeting at my child’s school. The topic was student clubs. There were a few students present, representing their clubs. It was all very nice and the kids did a fine job. But then the meeting got weird. A few parents started to offer help to the students for their clubs. “We have skills that you could use.” “We could make presentations and give advice.” “We can donate money.” “Why don’t you just have bake sales every week. We can bake the goods for you.” I kid you not.
Perhaps you feel a sense of overwhelm and perpetual stress. Perhaps your self esteem is low because people have accused you of “not trying” or “not caring”. Perhaps you know what you have to do, but you just can’t seem to do it. Perhaps you start many projects but can never seem to finish any. Perhaps you have embarrassed yourself by blurting inappropriate remarks.
I couldn’t swallow the fact that my son kept causing trouble in school because he could not sit still or keep his mouth shut. I went on a mission to help him and our family understand his ADHD diagnosis, and in the process decided to help other students in similar situations. Lo and behold, I became a CACP-certified ADHD Coach, and have been fortunate to see my student clients experience success and gain confidence.
Our brains tend to find distractions that boost our dopamine levels. What is something that can make us feel good and require little to no effort? Hulu! Snapchat! And if we can find something that rewards us with zero effort, well that’s even better. Hello, video games!
It’s genetic. Once you know the behavior and symptoms associated with ADHD, you will be able to identify other family members. First it was my son, then my husband, then my sister...ADHD is a relatively new diagnosis, so many adults were never identified as being Turbo Thinkers.
First of all, students should not base their self worth on their academic performance. Report cards have no importance if a student is always doing his or her best at all times. An ideal student takes ownership of his or her own learning, fully engaging in the education process. We want all students to explore and take advantage of the opportunities offered in school, sucking the marrow out of their education.
I think that they are all related. Some people have a natural aptitude for these, while others need help to develop them. Some people have developed a few while not others. If I were pressed to choose just one, I would say that the most important is the ability to sustain attention when the task at hand is not interesting. Unfortunately, life is not interesting 100% of the time. If you can find a way to make it interesting for your brain so that you can focus, you can accomplish quite a bit.
Lao-Tzu, the father of Taoism, said something along the lines of: “If you are depressed you are living in the past. If you are anxious you are living in the future. If you are at peace you are living in the present.”
Long term goals are necessary to make sense of the everyday grind. Why are you doing these daily sometimes difficult tasks? We need a vision (and the feeling that accompanies that vision) for a life long plan. Short term goals are stepping stones to get there.
What are a few obstacles that could’ve set you back, yet you persevered? Breast cancer was a bitch. It was like I was forced to take on another job in addition to everything else I was doing. I had never felt healthier in my life and suddenly I was told that I had cancer! It was just so time consuming, researching treatment options, shopping around for doctors and getting second opinions, endless hours in waiting rooms. Then days after my bilateral mastectomy I was told I needed radiation therapy! I wanted to punch someone, only I couldn’t lift my arms.
We often feel that the rejection of an idea we have or a role we’d like to fulfill is a rejection of us as a person. Another person’s opinion or oversight can make us feel unworthy or unloved. Our creative minds wander to extrapolate from the simple rejection to the worst possible scenario. It is human to sometimes think “I am not good enough” or “I am not worthy” but not healthy to stay in that mindset.
The article is engaging and encouraging in the sense that more advancements are being made in ADHD research. Yet I don’t see ADHD as a “disorder” at all - if anything, it’s a transorder or a paraorder. The ADHD brain can think beyond what a neurotypical brain thinks in the same amount of time. It can also think beside neurotypical thoughts, outside of the regular realm of ideas.
Summer is a time for relaxation, travel, family, friends and so much more. But, when it gets close enough to the new school year it can bring a lot of woes.
Why is it overwhelming? I think the massive amounts of information that students receive from the beginning of the year are extremely overwhelming. If you look at academic information alone, you’re talking about where to find assignments, notes and class materials, when and how to turn in homework, projects, tests and papers- some of it is in digital format in varieties of platforms while other is in classic books, handouts or printed materials.
Executive Function: aset of processes that all have to do with managing oneself and one's resources in order to achieve a goal. It is an umbrella term for the neurologically-based skills involving mental control and self-regulation.
Do you have a relative or friend who just doesn’t want to “believe” in ADHD? Do you know someone who just doesn’t get it? You just want them to understand so that they can empathize with the gargantuan effort of trying to fit in, and can show a bit of compassion to the turbo thinker. Here’s a quick slide show that outlines how the ADHD brain affects everyday life.
"Slow Down to Get Ahead," by Mindful.org, is great reading on staying true to your purpose: are you living mindfully? Consciously taking steps in alignment with your purpose? If the answer is no, and you'd like to work on developing your purpose and your daily choices, get in touch with Mind Coach NOLA!